The Double Life of Elle

The Secret Confessions of an Extra Lusty Broad in a Stick Figure World.

yeah, i can! January 21, 2009

Filed under: cha-cha-cha-changes — thedoublelifeofelle @ 11:32 am
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It seems that 2009 is the year for change, both on the global scale and the bathroom scale.  I have been a little dewy-eyed since MLK Day and it culminated in an all out sob-fest yesterday.  Unfortunately, I was working  and was unable to watch President Barack Obama being sworn in, but naturally, I watched it on YouTube when I got home (such a sign of the times!).  He gave his speech on my laptop while I chopped garlic and shallots.  I sauteed as he spoke of sacrifice and wept to see the masses covering the mall as the Civil Rights movement came full circle.  Regardless of your politics, history was made yesterday, and people of all colors, creeds, and ages are coming together like never before.

It may sound a little corny, but this past election year, and Obama’s campaign in particular, has shaken a lot of the cynicism from my nature.  The world seems brand new and the future seems brighter.  The phrase I’ve heard over and over since November 4, 2008 is “anything is possible.” 

Okay, this isn’t meant to be a political post.  I’m just sharing with you how this historic event has injected some positivity into my usually pessimistic attitude.  And with Weigh-In day being tomorrow, I need to keep my mind in the positive realm. 

Not only was Tuesday filled with media coverage of Inauguration Day, it was also Biggest Loser night!  The contestants on this show (all the seasons, not just this one) have cajones of STEEL!  Showing all your fat rolls on national television, working out and throwing up, and let’s not forget:  being WEIGHED on a huge scale for the world to see!  This show sounds just like my worst nightmare, except the contestants are clothed and they aren’t walking into the lunch room of my old high school.

The candidness of the contestants has given me a little push to post some pictures of myself on this little blog (while still cleverly disguising my identity).  Plus I think that making a record of my progress will give me something to look back on during those less positive moods that I am SURE will catch up with me.  Hopefully I can whip up something over the next week or two, so keep an eye out.

I will be weighing in tomorrow and posting my results on Friday.  And I would just like to say thanks to those of you who gave me comment love.  I really appreciate it, and I enjoy reading your blogs!

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The Secret Confessions of an Extra Lusty Broad Living in a Stick Figure World January 12, 2009

Filed under: cha-cha-cha-changes — thedoublelifeofelle @ 3:04 am
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Hi, my (fake) name is Elle and I am fat, or as I prefer to call it Extra Lusty

You might be  saying, “So, Elle, why the pseudonym?” 

Because I need to be annonymous in order to be honest about the actual numbers associated with my body (weight, measurements, etc) as well as the emotions that helped those measurments sky rocket.  I need the accountability of putting all that out there for the world to see without revealing my true identity. 

“But, Elle, I hate to say it…but if you’re THAT fat, everybody you know already knows it.” 

Yes, yes…but no one in my life knows how much I really weigh.  I haven’t uttered those words out loud, even to myself.   Plus, I intend to be extremely candid on this site about all sorts of things other than my weight…like my nosy mother-in-law, condescending sister-in-law, parents I secretly blame for my emotional dysfunction, my skinny friends who just don’t get it,  and my wonderfully supportive husband.  And while I love the people in my life dearly, they are still very capable of pissing me off and the idea of having a secret little place to rant and rave makes me feel all tingly with happiness. 

It’s the beginning of 2009, and in the cliched hopes of starting over, I want to transform my life this year through weight loss.  I am tired of this body I’ve created.   I am tired of letting my weight keep me from doing new, exciting things.  I am tired of my thighs rubbing together.  I am tired of eating junk.  I am tired of not being able to buy clothes in a normal store.  I am tired of feeling unworthy of my smokin’ hot husband.  I am tired of feeling like shit every morning because I’m so damn fat I can’t find a comfortable sleeping position.  I am tired of totally hating myself. 

In just about 2 years, I will be hitting the big 3-0.  Since I wasted my 20’s being fat and depressed about it, I would like to enter my 30’s feeling better than I ever have. 

My official start day will be January 15, 2009.  That will be the initial weigh-in and day 1 of my new healthy lifestyle. 

So please stick around.  Help keep me accountable.  Send me lots of lovely inspirational things that will keep me on the straight-and-narrow.