This week I am down 3.0 lbs! Before stepping on the scale this time, I had that fleeting “WhatifIdon’tloseanyweightthisweek?!” moment of panic. I found myself grazing more this week. At least my pantry is free from any junk food, or this would have been disastrous. I had extra helpings this week, but I always consulted the hunger scale before having seconds. But I think on the days when I enjoyed a second or third serving, I was confusing thirst with hunger. I didn’t stay as hydrated as I should have and I think that contributed to my “hunger.” Bad Elle! I still managed a loss this week and from now on, I’m going to make sure I drink up. I also have a feeling Mother Nature might be stopping by in a few days, because of my slightly more “blue” moods over the past couple of days, which also could account for the increased appetite.
So this means that I have completed 2 consecutive weeks of planned, unproccessed, non-fast food meals. Lusties, I don’t think you realize how amazing this is! Don’t get me wrong, I have always enjoyed cooking, but before I started this I rarely cooked. Programmed into my cell phone’s memory is every restaurant that delivers within a 25 mile radius. There is a McDonald’s less than half-a-mile down the road from my house and I work right across the street from a sandwich shop that makes the most EXCELLENT Italian grinders. It’s so much easier to stop at or get delivery from this wide variety of choices than to cook an entire meal. And this is a fine option for your normal, not addicted to food, person who doesn’t feel like making dinner a couple of nights a week. But not me. I get a grinder for lunch, then stop at McDonald’s on the way home and maybe even order some Chinese delivery. EVERYDAY! (Does anyone else struggle with making meals at home when restaurants/fast food joints are so ubiquitous?) So this whole, making meals at home thing is a huge non-scale-victory for me.
Because of my fears of gaining weight this week, the idea of Fat Acceptance has been on my mind. I like the idea of a movement that tries to abolish all of those negative stereotypes we have about the Extra Lusty. I also like how Healthy at Every Size (HAES) is emphasized. There are some really great FA blogs out there and one of my favorites happens to be Living ~400lbs in which a 40-something 400lb woman talks candidly about what it’s like to weigh that much and how it doesn’t really affect her life. She still does all the same things thin people do like work, exercise, and even have sex (funny how a lot of people don’t think fat people are capable of finding someone to sleep with).
Shapely Prose is an excellent multi-authored FA/Feminist blog. These ladies are not only Extra Lusty, they’re smart and snarky.
Mouthfeel: The Story of Fat has a great post with links and information about FA and misconceptions about the health of fat people.
So this begs the question, why don’t I just accept my Extra Lustiness and stop dieting? Because I didn’t get to 300.6 lbs because of living HAES. I abused my body to get that far. But I don’t plan on abusing my body to lose the weight either. I want to eat nutrious foods, be active and enjoy my life, and hopefully gain some self-esteem. As I’ve said all along, this isn’t about fitting into a size 4. It’s about taking control of my health. And if that means I never reach my goal weight of 167lbs, that’s okay. As long as I’m living a healthy lifestyle, the number on the scale won’t scare me.
Have a great weekend everyone!