Hi, my (fake) name is Elle and I am fat, or as I prefer to call it Extra Lusty.
You might be saying, “So, Elle, why the pseudonym?”
Because I need to be annonymous in order to be honest about the actual numbers associated with my body (weight, measurements, etc) as well as the emotions that helped those measurments sky rocket. I need the accountability of putting all that out there for the world to see without revealing my true identity.
“But, Elle, I hate to say it…but if you’re THAT fat, everybody you know already knows it.”
Yes, yes…but no one in my life knows how much I really weigh. I haven’t uttered those words out loud, even to myself. Plus, I intend to be extremely candid on this site about all sorts of things other than my weight…like my nosy mother-in-law, condescending sister-in-law, parents I secretly blame for my emotional dysfunction, my skinny friends who just don’t get it, and my wonderfully supportive husband. And while I love the people in my life dearly, they are still very capable of pissing me off and the idea of having a secret little place to rant and rave makes me feel all tingly with happiness.
It’s the beginning of 2009, and in the cliched hopes of starting over, I want to transform my life this year through weight loss. I am tired of this body I’ve created. I am tired of letting my weight keep me from doing new, exciting things. I am tired of my thighs rubbing together. I am tired of eating junk. I am tired of not being able to buy clothes in a normal store. I am tired of feeling unworthy of my smokin’ hot husband. I am tired of feeling like shit every morning because I’m so damn fat I can’t find a comfortable sleeping position. I am tired of totally hating myself.
In just about 2 years, I will be hitting the big 3-0. Since I wasted my 20’s being fat and depressed about it, I would like to enter my 30’s feeling better than I ever have.
My official start day will be January 15, 2009. That will be the initial weigh-in and day 1 of my new healthy lifestyle.
So please stick around. Help keep me accountable. Send me lots of lovely inspirational things that will keep me on the straight-and-narrow.